Heard by a Bird: November 5th

Sparrow November 05, 2007

"The best books are written by authors who're in debt."
- Diana Trilling

A Letter

Dear Sparrow-Boy:

What's going on with High Street? For two years, I lived happily on this road (in Phoenicia). Suddenly, a new sign appeared, at the intersection of Bridge Street: "Upper High Street." Now, just as I am slowly growing accustomed to this name, a newer sign has been erected: "High Street" again! And what happened to "Lower High Street"? The sign for that road -- which was formerly part of "High Street" -- is now missing!

Is this where my tax dollars are going, to constantly rename my street?

J. T.

Did you see the cloud resembling a three-armed robot over Boiceville last Tuesday?

A Second Letter

Dear "Heard by an Avian":

The word "comeuppance" refers to a justified punishment. "Comedownance" is the opposite -- a punishment that's unmerited. ("Poor Jake, he just received his comedownance.")

B. L.

My friends are listening to Compound Eye, the Surf-klezmer trio.

A Third Letter

Dear Monsieur Sparrow:

Today the autumn leaves are falling as fast as stacks of playing cards thrown off roofs by repentant gamblers.

L. V.

Without Money

"I get all my food without money," says local woodsman Jay McEllener. "I either shoot it with a bow and arrow, grow it, or buy it with a credit card."

Bumper sticker:

IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS
I USED TO BE HERE NOW

A Letter

Dear "Hearing the Birds":

I went on a visit to the Berkshires. In a small restaurant, I washed my hands with "moisturizing soap." Have you ever encountered "moisturizing soap"?

Here's what happens: as you lather your hands, a layer of white lotion attaches itself to them. Then it won't come off! You hold your hands under running water; the viscous lotion remains. Finally, you rub it off with three paper towels.

That's "moisturizing soap."

Arthur V.

Salamander Story

"My father's name is Sal and my mother's name is Amanda, so everyone always called our family The Salamanders," recalls Kate von Boer.

Shandaken Poetry Inventory

Unlikely Poem

Pirates
do
Pilates.

- A. Wansome

Lazy Ghosts

I hear lazy
ghosts muttering:
"Foo! Foo!"

- Matthew Winser

Birds Love Wine

"Birds love wine," says local birdwatcher Orrin Fesser. "If I put out a saucer of Chardonnay, five songbirds will drink within 15 minutes!"

A Letter

Dear Sparrow:

I know you admire wordplay, so I must show you my new poem. The title is a palindrome (i.e. it reads the same backwards and forwards) and the poem explains the title. I call this new form "Palindromic-titled Poesy."

Sitar Gratis

I got
this
sitar
for
free.

Proudly,
"Arthur Craven"

T-shirt:

Our nation was founded by "insurgents."

Pistachio Highway

"One day in 1989, I walked along Route 28 for three miles," Clive Jenser told me. "The whole way, I found pistachio shells -- one every nine feet or so. Ever since, I've called 28 'Pistachio Highway.'"

Bumper sticker:

PROUD TO BE
A NARCISSIST

Profound Tofu

6 raisins, chopped
1/2 tsp curry powder
1 cake tofu, sliced
1 cup sweet peas

Saute curry and raisins in sesame oil. Add tofu and stir. Pour in peas. Just before serving, squeeze on two drops of lemon.

[This recipe comes from Peter Andol.]