Heard by a Bird
"God speaks to us through comic books."
- Jack Kirby
Did you see the cloud shaped like the letter H over Mount Tremper last Thursday?
Dear Mr. Sparrow:
People are constantly asking me: "How's it going?" and "How are you doing?"
I have finally come up with an answer: "It's too early to tell."
Have you heard the new Pine Hill band, Midlife Cry Sis?
JOHN BROWN WAS
A Second Letter
Dear Señor Sparrow:
Have you ever deliberately sent a blank e-mail to someone? Yesterday, I sent one -- to my older sister -- and today I am ashamed.
Anonymous In Chichester
1 cup green peas
1 Tbs honey
1/2 tsp cinnamon (optional)
Puree peas, honey and cinnamon. Pour on fresh rice or couscous. Serve.
[This recipe comes from Ralph Muros.]
"My dog Ned hates shoelaces," Susan Veedan said. "He's a black and white terrier. Every night he would pull the shoelaces out of our shoes. Now we keep our footwear atop the refrigerator."
A Third Letter
Dear Monsieur Sparrow:
"24-7" means "all the time." A new phrase,"60-24," means "all day." As in: "You can come over anytime Tuesday; I'll be here 60-24."
I WISH I WERE
A Fourth Letter
Yesterday, a truck drove by my house with the sign "Country Waste." (I think it pumped out septic tanks.) "That would be a good title for a melancholy Country song," I thought, and began to write it:
Some days, in my room,
I've just paced and paced.
I feel like a Country waste...
I'D RATHER BE
From The Art of Living Gently by Ephraim Chell:
"Every armchair has an armrest. But how many people actually rest their arms on the armrest?
"Here is an exercise:
"Sit in your armchair. Rest your left arm on the armrest. Feel the restfulness of the armrest. Allow your left arm to relax, and enjoy its position.
"Now take down your left arm, and place your right arm on the armrest. Allow this arm also to rest.
"Now, try both arms at once. Close your eyes, to completely feel arm-restedness.
"Vow to use the armrest two minutes a day."
Shandaken Poetry Compilation
is my brother.
- A. Beame
helps you repose,
lets you know a tree.
- Julia V. Andrews
"Ask Sparrow" is an occasional feature of this column, where mystified citizens beg for answers to tricky questions.
Does anyone in Ulster County wear a monocle?
Pondering in Chichester
I have seen no monocled eyes at the Kingston Mall, to be certain.
WARNING: I LEARNED TO
DRIVE FROM MY LITTLE SISTER
A Fifth Letter
Dear Nearly-Mighty Sparrow:
I have been living in this house for four years, and just today I noticed that on top of the stove, under the clock, is written: "Accubake System." I've been Accubaking, unconsciously, since 2003!
Tags: Sparrow , Phoenicia , Bird
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