The Climate in Vancouver, British Columbia

Richie Mogwai September 30, 2009

Here's the load on the climate in Vancouver, British Columbia, from someone who has lived in this beautiful city for more than two years.

First, the city of Vancouver's climate takes getting used to, especially if you hail from other Canadian provinces like Ontario, or Alberta, which are patently frigid zones, giving the country the moniker "bring a jacket, it's always cold in Canada."

Out here, in a city close to the big blue ocean and bays, it can rain at any time of the day. Most of the time, the weather report is accurate, but there are always some slight variations. For example, it can rain even in the height of summer, depending on just how much water the waterways around Vancouver are willing to give up to the ether for cloud-making purposes.

Hence the golden rule in Vancouver: Always bring an umbrella. This will explain why the city's umbrella making industry is flourishing. An umbrella here is like food. You leave your umbrella away from your sight and it's gone forever, and don't blame it on the lowly seagull or the black hawk, for that matter.

A decent-looking, durable enough umbrella from the London Drugs chain store will cost about $10-$12. In a thrift store, maybe $4. Dollar stores normally don't sell umbrellas, except at the biggest dollar store in the city, called Dollarama (rhymes with Dalai Lama) for an unbelievable $1 price.

Just imagine these price differences. Mind you, you're not comparing apples to apples and oranges to oranges, even if the object is umbrellas. The London Drugs variety can last for a year or more, but the same cannot be said for the thrift store or the dollar store umbrellas.

Cheap umbrellas out here in Vancouver can probably last you a dragonfly's life span of 24 hours or more. That should give you an idea of the outpouring of nature when it happens. The amount of clouds in the sky, however, should give you a fair warning of what to expect.

The mandatory months to carry an umbrella in your purse or person are from October to April. In other months, you can take chances, especially if you believe you would look just as beautiful as Michael Douglas and Glenn Close in the rain.

Most of the scenes in the X-Files movies have been shot here because the skies have a way of looking very sad, indeed, or even scary at times. The same goes for the teen Dracula epic Twilight. You get it, it's not that Robert Pattinson wants to run away from all those teenyboppers out there, the dreary scenery has more to do with it. Go ask the director.

This is the full picture of Vancouver during winter: Plenty of overcast clouds for months at a time, forcing some people to take happy pills just to get out of depression (no exaggeration). There's your curse, now here's the blessing: Vancouver has the mildest winters in the whole of Canada, barring climate change or the green house effect.

However, the past two years have been an aberration of nature, bringing the city its coldest winters on record, and a record snowfall as well. One can only hope that it will not happen again this year, but who knows for sure?

Even Al Gore won't be able to tell you. At least, the summers here have been patently mild, compared to those in Toronto, where a heat wave could occur causing a dozen or more senior deaths at one time or another.

And if ever it gets warmer than you expect out here in Vancouver, you always have a perfect solution: Kitsilano Beach, Wreck Beach, Spanish Banks, Jericho Beach. Take your pick, and while you're at it, go tell someone which one has the best view of the waters, the trees, and the majestic mountains which can be glacier-clad at any time of the year.

And hence, this curious conclusion: Vancouverites are spoiled brats who like to steal umbrellas and are such cry babies they go skinny dipping in the park pool or any of many Mediterranean-style beaches out here at the slightest provocation of nature. So watch out!

Tags: Vancouver Climate , Rain , Overcast Sky , Cloudy , Fickle Weather