Breaking the Cycle of Abuse When Your Parent is An Addict
The impact of violent video games on children is one example of a debate that still feuds on as is the debate about whether the negative influence of our parents affects our actions and our beliefs.
Of course to a certain extent they do, but the power of the influence I believe is over-exaggerated. I believe that teenagers and kids are much smarter then people give them credit for, and know these things are wrong.
If a kid lives in a home where the parent is an alcoholic or drug abuser, of course it illustrates that it is okay to use drugs and alcohol, but some kids realize it is wrong because they see the effects first hand. Being around it so much leads them to see the extreme, and negative aspects of drugs and alcohol.
A recent study showed that 80% of people admitted to rehab facilities in New Jersey were under 25. The question kids struggle with is how do they break the cycle of abuse, when their heros are the ones abusing?
My mother killed herself after a long struggle with substance abuse and my Dad has now been sober over twenty years. I sat back and watched my Mom go up and down the constant roller-coaster of Rehab.
For the majority of the time, I sat back and watched the nightmare unfold, and when it was bad enough, (knives impaled in the TV or bookcases being thrown across the room), I would just go and stay at my Dad's place.
As the situation grew worse, I came to the conclusion that something needed to be said, which went along the lines of, "Mom I can't see you anymore until you clean up".
This was our last conversation. In hindsight, I did the opposite of what kids should do during a time of crisis. Although it was right to separate myself from a dangerous situation, the way in which I did was wrong.
After a parent has kids,their kids become their reason for living. You live to leave a legacy and what greater legacy than your children?
I took away that aspect of her life- her reason for living while she was losing floved ones because of her disease.
As kids, we must understand we cannot fix others, we are not superheros, and it's not our fault. All we can do is love and support, and attempt to lead others in the right direction, and understand that we are not our parents. We don't have to submit to their addictions or diseases, and we may not be able to break their addiction, but we can make sure addiction does not continue to overwhelm their legacy.
Tags: Drug Addiction , Rehab , Suicide , Dysfunctional Family , Opinion
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