PRE-MATRIMONIAL (Prevention of After-Marriage Nuisances) QUESTIONNAIRE-I
Questionnaire to be answered by the Prospective Bride and must be given to the prospective Groom duly signed, before deciding to enter into matrimonial relationship.
Aims and Objectives of the Form: This Questionnaire if answered by prospective Bride (girl/women) and given to her prospective Groom, so that her attitudes could be understood by the prospective Groom to decide whether a bride with such attitude/tendencies is suitable for him or not and to decide whether to go head with the engagement and marriage. By answering the questions in this form, the prospective brides (girl/women) can also reveal their desires, attitudes, tendencies in advance to prospective Groom, so that they can avoid the future risk of being harassed by the husbands and in-laws and later wandering around the police stations and Court after marriage.
To explain in a clear way, the advantage of answering this forms is – the marriage between a Bride and Groom with adverse attitude and behavior and adverse likes can be avoided, so that unnecessary after marriage disputes, nuisances and fighting can be avoided between two families after the marriage.
Some people talk before the engagement/marriage so sweetly, politely and submissively and after the marriage is solemnized, behave in a quite different way. The brides who do not wish to answer these questions would altogether drop from the marriage proposal before hand, if the prospective Groom insists in answering this questionnaire. So commitments and non-commitments would be known prior to engagement/marriage itself. If the prospective Grooms do not ask the prospective brides to answer this questionnaire and go-ahead with the marriage, he and his parents must also be prepared to face the consequence, in case of her tendencies, desires and wishes are not understood prior to engagement/marriage. So if this Form/ Questionnaire is answered, signed before entering into the engagement/marriage it will benefit of both the parties.
This questionnaire will prevent the sacred marriages turning into short-term marriages and institution of Marriage and Family would be protected if this questionnaire is taken into consideration and this would prevent mis-matches having adverse thinking/opinions/life-styles entering into matrimonial relations and promote only like minded women and men to get married. By using this Questionnaire attitudes/opinions/life-styles, are known much in advance before entering into engagement/marriage.
SELECT ONLY ONE ANSWER TO EACH QUESTION
1) In my personal view:
(a) Marriage is essential for women, even if some of her freedom is lost after the marriage.
(b) Marriage is not very essential for women, because women are doing jobs and earning money. Moreover marriage prevents freedom of the women. So casual relationships or live-in relationships are sufficient, as there no severe objections from legal forums also.
2) My Prospective Groom’s age:
a) Must be at least 3 to 8 years higher than me
b) Must be equal in age with me
c) Even if he is much younger and handsome, or much elder to me but rich, I have no objection to marry him
3) Date of Birth and horoscope of the groom are very important for me and I will thoroughly verify it before marriage.
(a) Yes. If date of Birth and horoscope do not match I will not go for that match.
(b) No. Date of Birth and horoscope is not much essential for me if he is earning well and having properties
(c) Date of Birth and horoscope are not important for me if he is good in character and behavior
4) My Marriage is:
a) First Marriage
b) Second Marriage with Children
c) Second Marriage without Children
d) Third Marriage with Children
e) Third Marriage without Children
5) I’m a:
(a) Divorced women and I’m ready to show my Divorce petition/Counter and Court Order papers to my prospective second husband
(b) Divorced women but I’m not willing to show my Divorce petition/Counter and Court Order papers to my prospective Second Husband
(c) Widow and I will clearly tell my prospective husband what are the reasons for death of my expired Husband
(d) This question is not applicable to me
6) My Prospective husband:
a) Must be fair in color, tall with good physique, even if he is earning less
b) No objection even if he is Average in color, but must be propertied and well earning
c) No objection even if he is black in color and must possess good character/conduct
d) Must be propertied/earning high or Foreign settled and his age and character are immaterial for me.
7) I will choose my prospective Husband with first priority:
(a) By taking his good character and conduct into consideration, leaving rest of the things
(b) By taking his earnings and properties into consideration, leaving rest of the things
8) My Prospective Husband must be:
(a) Earning at least Rupees 50,000/- or above per month
(b) Earning between 25,000 to 50,000/- per month
(c) Earning between 10,000 to 25,000/- per month
(d) I will adjust with the salary even if he is earning 10,000/- or less than that, per month.
9) Prior to this Marriage:
(a) I have failed in my love affair with another person
(b) One engagement is cancelled with another person
(c) I will not reveal all such things before marriage
(d) If above points A and B are known to my husband after the marriage and any dispute arises, I will approach the court for resolving the issue.
(e) After the marriage if points like A and B are known to my husband I will hold the feet of my husband and in-laws and beseech them and try to settle my problem for myself and will not invite my parents/brothers to interfere in such matters.
10) According to my attitude I prefer that my husband:
(a) Must behave like a manly husband
(b) Must behave like a Friend
(c) I do not believe that a husband is living God of wife
(d) Should be just like a life partner to me
11) To My prospective Husband
(a) I and my parents will give Dowry and other valuables, even if they do not demand
(b) We will not give Dowry and valuables
(c) If he does not ask for dowry, I and my parents believe that he must be having some defects, so that he is coming forward to marry me without demanding dowry.
12) I have agreed to this Marriage:
(a) Because the Groom is handsome and fair in color.
(b) Groom is not so handsome but he is earning high salary and has good job
(c) Due to my parents’ pressure I agreed for marriage, even though I’m not interested in marriage.
13) I will tell all my physical/psychological conditions, desires, behavior to my husband and his parents:
(a) Prior to engagement only
(b) After the marriage is completed
(c) How can I tell all those things in advance before the engagement/marriage?
14) My life-style is:
(a) I’m a society woman, and like to make friendships with various people through social-networking sites
(b) I’m a moderate, traditional and family-oriented women limit my freedom to my family, relatives circle
15) Before the engagement/marriage all my physical and mental disabilities/diseases of mine:
(a) I will tell my husband and in-laws clearly
(b) I will not tell about all those things to my husband and In-laws
(c) I will partially tell them about my physical and psychological status
(d) How can I tell all those things before the engagement/marriage only?
16) After the marriage is performed:
(a) I will ask my husband to live separately from his parents’ family
(b) I would prefer to stay in the house of my father-in-law and mother in law’s house along with my husband.
(c) How can I tell all those things in advance before the marriage?
17) After going to Husband’s home (matrimonial Home):
(a) I will do all domestic works for myself
(b) I will engage/hire a servant maid to do all the house-hold work
(c) How can I tell all those things in Advance?
18) According my attitude, both the Wife and Husband are:
(a) Equal in all aspects
(b) Wife is not inferior to husband in any aspect
(c) Wife must be submissive in certain aspect before the husband and contribute for smooth matrimonial life
19) After Marriage:
(a) I will go frequently to my parents’ house alone
(b) I will go to my parents’ house only when my husband accompany me
(c) I will maintain least relationship with my parents, and try to consolidate my position in matrimonial home by facing ups and downs.
20) After marriage:
(a) I expect that me and my husband must go to Hotel frequently in the evenings for eating varieties of food
(b) I will ask my husband to bring breakfast/Tiffin parcels from Hotel in morning to avoid tiresome cooking
(c) I will cook breakfast and daily meals in the home itself and take help of my husband also in cooking.
(d) I will ask my husband to hire a cook for cooking in the home
21) After marriage:
(a) I will ask my husband and in-laws to return the dowry, presentations, and other items given by my parents
(b) I will not ask my husband and in-laws to return the dowry, presentations, other items given by my parents
(c) How can tell all such things said in point A and B above, right now itself? I do not know how I will behave after marriage
22) On all the small troubles and skirmishes and the property details of my Husband and In-laws family:
(a) I will tell to my parents, brothers and sisters and relative and obtain their advises and suggestions secretly
(b) I will not reveal such aspects to any outsides, without applying my brain properly.
23) After my marriage:
(a) I do not wish to stay with mother in law, father in law, brother in laws, sister in laws, because I always want freedom
(b) I would live to live in joint family and least for six or seven years and later wish to live separately with my husband
(c) I believe that there will be security, proper guidance and advise of elders in the joint family, rather than living separately with the husband.
24) After marriage:
(a) I ask my husband to get his property share from his parents as early as possible
(b) I will not desire for properties of my in-laws, but would like to earn on our own by doing hard work
25) According to my opinion, to live in the contemporary society:
(a) Money is very important and we must earn it at any cost
(b) Money is important, but I do not like to give up values and ethics to earn it any cost
(c) If you sit back and do not earn money at any cost, you are considered as innocent, inefficient, and fool in the society
26) In my personal view:
(a) Health is very important than wealth
(b) Wealth is very important than Health
(c) If wealth is there I can buy Health with money
27) In my Personal View:
(a) A women must dress properly without exposing her physical beauty to lure and disturb the minds of men
(b) A women must dress as she like, because it is her personal matter. Even if a women wear exposing dress men must restrain their minds. Keeping restrictions on women’s dressing is violation of her personal freedom.
28) I have the habit of:
(a) Smoking only
(b) Drinking liquor
(c) both Smoking and Drinking
(d) I do not Smok and Drink liquor
29) I have the habit of
(a) Going to pubs and clubs in day or night time to enjoy with friends
(b) I do not go to Pubs and clubs
30) I learn life-style, values and behavior:
(a) From movies, T.V.Serials
(b) By observing the elders and good people in the society
31) In the T.V. Programmes:
(a) I like to watch News, Government Doordarshan Programmes, Agricultuural and Devotional Programmes mostly.
(b) I like to watch Film Songs, latest Movies, T.V. daily serials.
(c) I watch all kinds of programmes
(d) I just casually watch T.V. Programmes for little time to relax my mind.
32) When I’m getting bored:
(a) I will do browsing sitting before Internet
(b) I will do chatting with friends through Internet
33) After Marriage:
(a) I will behave according to my own discretion and decisions
(b) I will take advises and suggestions from my parents, brother, sisters and behaving according to their advises and suggestions in my matrimonial life
(c) I will not allow my parents and brothers and sisters to interfere in my matrimonial life
(d) I will behave according to the advices and suggestions of my husband and in-laws
34) After Marriage, if any clashes arise between me and my husband:
(a) I will report the attitude and behavior of my husband to my parents, brother, and sisters
(b) I will not report the issues to my parents, brothers, but solve on my own.
35) After my Marriage is performed with any ordinary middle-class employee and later if some other rich man comes with a proposal to marry me:
(a) I will tell that man not to disturb me as I’m already married
(b) I will intelligently ask him to give me some time to think and to take a decision
(c) I will stick on to my husband even if he a small employee and lead ordinary life
(d) How can I answer to such questions right now?
36) After marriage I expect that:
(a) My husband and in-laws must behave according to my desires and wishes. If they criticize my behavior I will teach them a lesson by filing Domestic Violence Case and bring them into my route.
(b) If my behavior and attitude is not liked by my husband and in-laws, I will resolve the problems through both side elders by discussions.
37) After my marriage, if for any reason I do not like and wish to live with my husband
(a) I will get rid off him by filing dowry harassment and domestic violence cases
(b) I will file Divorce for my self and get rid off him
(c) I will take Mutual Consent Divorce with my husband without much nuisance.
38) For any reason if me and my husband have to get separated permanently:
(a) I will give immediate divorce if huge amount is given at once by my husband/in-laws
(b) I will stay away from husband without giving divorce, and take monthly maintenance form his salary and live with my parents
39) Before the Engagement and Marriage Ceremony:
(a) I will write on a paper about my personal and educational details, my attitude, physical abilities and disabilities and also (in case divorce has to be obtained, how much lump sum amount required for me to give divorce, I will tell in advance and write it on paper and sign it and would submit to the Registrar of marriages at the time of Registration of Marriage.
(b) I will not make any such commitments before engagement/marriage
(c) I have no objection to write such things on paper and sign on it, and later I will not deny them.
(d) How can I write all those things on paper before engagement and marriage?
40) After the marriage, if the behavior of my husband and in-laws and the situation in matrimonial home is not liked by me:
(a) I will file Domestic Violence and dowry harassment case on them
(b) I will give divorce to my husband by taking some reasonable amount as one time Alimony, and do not approach the Court for maintenance and do not waste my time by wandering around the courts.
(c) I will try my maximum best to reform my husband and in-laws to change their attitude and behavior or else I will also learn to behave like them to adjust with their family.
41) It is really boring to live with the husband life long in this changing world.
(c) I do not know. How can I tell such thing in advance.
42) After the marriage if I do not like my husband:
(a) Even though I do not like my husband I will live with my husband, keeping our customs and traditions in view and believing that marriage is onetime sacred institution.
(b) I will take divorce and again marry another person
(c) I will take my children and go to my parents’ house and do as per the advice of my parents
(d) I will leave the children at my husband home and take divorce and do another marriage
(e) How can I tell all such things right now?
43) After my marriage:
(a) I will maintain friendly relationship with my male classmates and male friends in person and by phone Conversations
(b) I will not maintain any kind of relationship with my male classmates and male friends either in person or by phone conversations
(c) What is wrong if I talk to my male friends or male college mates.
(d) How can I tell whether I maintain relationship with my boy friends or male friends right now? Depending on the circumstances I will decide that later.
(e) If my husband ask me to stop talking to my male college mates, I will consider it as suspecting my character and I will file a police complaint against my husband to set right his brain.
44) After the Marriage:
(a) I expect that I must have the freedom that I’m having before my marriage.
(b) I do expect limited freedom that I’m having before my marriage.
(c) I do not wish to have any kind of senseless freedom to go and live as I like beyond the purview of my matrimonial life.
44) After my Marriage:
(a) I will take from my parents my share of property and share it with my husband
(b) I will not ask and bring from my parents my share of property and wish to leave it to my parents and Brothers only.
46) After my marriage:
(a) I will ask my husband to take a rented house nearby my parents house or to buy a flat or houe nearby my parents’ house
(b) I will not ask my husband to take a rented house or buy a flat or house nearby my parents’ house.
(c) How can I tell such things right now, I will behave according to the situation.
47) After my marriage:
(a) I will demand for my rights and freedom in the matrimonial home and behave according to my self-attitude.
(b) I will ask for sharing responsibilities in the matrimonial home and gradually change my attitude according to their wishes, if they are not bad.
48) After the marriage:
(a) If I do not like my husband for any reasons, I will suffer for myself by comparing my husband with other men and feels sorrow ness within me.
(b) I will never compare my husband with other men and do not spoil my mind and life.
49) After my marriage:
(a) If my husband’s earnings are not sufficient, I will prefer to do job and earn money
(b) I do not wish to do any job after the marriage
(c) Under any circumstances I will continue my job, because job is very essential for women than men.
(d) If my husband tells me not to do any job, I will oblige him and adjust and run the family with his earnings.
50) I like very much to buy:
(a) costly sarees, Jewellary, and modern furniture, electronic items etc., and I will buy them at least in Installments if I do not have much money at once.
(b) I’m not much interested in buying costly sarees, jewellary, modern gadgets, electronic items etc, beyong my financial capacity.
51) In my routine life
(a) I’m easy going, jovial and I like joking and laughing very much even for small things.
(b) I do not like to joke and laugh very much, unnecessarily.
52) If this type of questionnaire is given to me before the engagement and marriage:
(a) I will read it and fill it up on my own, without any body’s influence on my mind, because I believe that by filling this kind of forms, I can avoid the prospective groom who is not compatible to my attitude and psychology, because he himself will drop if he does not like my answers.
(b) I do not like to fill up this kind of forms and commit my self in advance.
53) After Marriage if under any circumstance the family disputes goes up to Police Station or Court:<
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