I’ve often wondered why married men and women cheat on each other, is it a yearning to bolster their egos; a desire to lust with a “new” person; is their mate negligent to their desires and urges; is it a sexual addiction problem; or a requirement to have a “new” sexual playmate to enhance their sexual experiences?
Throughout my lifetime as I’ve talked with women who’ve cheated, there are various reasons for a woman to have a need for another man’s attentions. I’m going to list some of the reasons women have told me they’ve cheated on their spouses.
(1) Their spouse has lost total interest in them and they rarely have a sexual relationship. There’s “no” bond or a feeling of closeness to their mate; some women have indicated regardless of the attentions they’ve shown to their husbands, it didn’t get a passionate or a good reaction from them; and this leaves them to feel unloved and undesirable and it is destroying their relationship; thus, leaving them with a desire to make a change to feel alive and in love again.
(2) Their spouse never confirms their likes or dislike about their looks and it’s like they’re simply a friend instead of their mate. They never look at them passionately or tell them they’re special to them. There’s “no” show of any type of romantic interest whatsoever and it leaves them feeling alone and hurt.
(3) Women are left to feel like they’re only a partner in the marriage and there’s “no” bonding whatsoever. It’s a terrible experience to feel you’re a part of something but yet your “not.”
(4) Women never get a feeling from their spouses of being special; and they feel like they’re like an abandoned animal and nothing more or less.
(5) They’re in need of sexual excitement, flattering comments, and a feeling of having a close relationship with another person to experience desirability and romance in their life once again.
(6) Women find they’re losing their self-esteem, self-confidence, and desirability to other people and they begin to wonder if they’re “still” appealing to other men.
I’ve also talked to men whom I’ve known throughout my life and here are some reasons they’ve provided for wanting to have cheating relationships outside of their marriages.
(1) Men say, “They’ve lost their sexual attraction for their wives and they leave them cold and with a desire to have an active sex life with another partner.”
(2) Men have said they wanted more spice and varieties out of their sexual relationship than what their wives are willing to provide to them.
(3) Men have also said, “The thought of a different sexual partner is beyond their control and they cannot help it.”
(4) Many men say, “Variety is the spice of life.”
(5) Men have also said, “I love the chase and to have sex without the fear of getting caught.”
(6) Some men have ego problems to contend with and some have sexual addiction hang-ups too.
(7) There are who admit they enjoy the thrill of a first encounter with a new partner.
People can see here that the reason a woman cheats is usually because of emotional reasons and a feeling of insecurities. A woman doesn’t want to beg a man for love and attention but it should be automatic when people are married and they love each other. They like to be given attention and like to be told they’re special in their spouse’s lives and not left to feel alone and without any self-esteem or self-confidence. There’s nothing worse than for a woman to feel unloved and unwanted.
People the list expresses that men’s reasons for cheating are primarily for sexual reasons.
I’m sure there are many other reasons why people cheat as well but I do believe this covers the major reasons why people do cheat.
It’s my opinion when husbands and wives feel they’re beginning to suffer problems in their marriage they should recognize the warning signs of infidelity and take the first step toward solving their problems together. When people recognize there’s a problem fueling, they should take appropriate actions to discuss the problem and then to rectify it before it leads to infidelity. They may also require the assistance from an educated professional marriage counselor.
The writer of this article is Barbara Kasey Smith and it is based on her sole opinion.