A couple can appear to be perfectly happy when unexpectedly one or the other finds out their spouse/partner is having an affair. It can be heart rendering for their partner and it hurts more when there are children involved.
The woman/man will ask themselves, "Where did I go wrong?" They’ll start to lose their self-confidence and begin to believe it’s their fault and they did something wrong or they didn’t do something they were supposed to do. Women/men I have an opinion that may ease your mind, an affair is a mistake made because of a craving to fulfill emptiness, and it’s "not" anything you did or didn’t do in your marriage or relationship.
There are people who have desires they’re requiring and not getting through marriage or in a relationship and they end up having an affair to satisfy their cravings. It’s nothing their partner is or isn’t doing but it’s a desire for a change from their constant repetition of having the same person stroke their egos on a daily basis.
Their egos are requiring a good stroking to build-up and to make them feel they’re important and a great man. They have an itch for a change to prove to themselves they can satisfy the needs of another person and this enhances their egos to cause them to feel superior in their "own" minds.
The man/woman struggles to "not" have the affair but their egos draw them to another person to get their cravings for their ego boost satisfied. They desperately don’t want to have the affair because they do love their partner but their urge builds to the point of explosion and their passions are too great for them to handle or to refuse.
There’s a lot of men/women in our society who have these type problems and it ends up ruining good marriage and relationships because the urge is constantly there and it must be satisfied.
I never realized how many people in our society required stroking and being built-up to make them feel they’re important and to elevate their egos. I’ve worked with people who constantly required praise and accolades to keep them performing at their best. People who suffer with a certain demand for constant praise suffers a lack of self-esteem and self-worth, and it often makes it hard for them to ever feel totally fulfilled throughout their lives.
People who have affairs to get their egos satisfied are usually people who have not received the proper amount of attention and affection as a child. They’ll find out in life that a complete fulfillment in any relationship is impossible unless they seek a professional doctor’s assistance to help them.
Their problems are deep seeded in their minds and until they’re expressed and discussed professionally they’ll not be healed of their passion for fulfillment.
It’s my opinion people should not allow their desires to build up their egos to destroy a happy and loving marriage/relationship; seek help through a professional who can get to the root of the problem and to stop the urges haunting them to find fulfillment and satisfaction.
Sole Source:
Article is the opinion of Barbara Kasey Smith and it is based on past experiences and in her daily life.
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