Girls are cute. And they are funny. In this particular instance I don’t mean funny like stand-up or satire-type "funny" (which of course they can very well be); I mean like when you are out with one on a date and her heel snaps off on the sidewalk, and she falls on her ass, but then starts uncontrollably laughing, having initially laughed at the fall but then because of that initial laughter "peed a little," causing the laughter to multiply and your heart to melt.
You do absurd things that only bitter comedians could call you out on and genuinely get mad about. You invented "Dinner" so that you can get blackout drunk on a weekday night but still have some class about it. If two guys want to meet and get drunk all that suffices is a three line conversation about figuring out if they both do want to get hammered, when they should, and where to meet. Girls choose a restaurant (usually with dark lighting and oversized glasses), make reservations, and meet for a lovely evening; fast-forward to 9:30 PM on a Tuesday night and there are bruised knees and vomit-containing purses everywhere. And what about "Brunch"? Champagne on Sunday mornings sounds so damn ridiculous and fun that only you could have invented it. Cakes shaped like genitals? "The View"? And K-Y Jelly commercials! How come every one of them makes wanting to use ass-lube seem like a sign of female empowerment? And the idiot boyfriend obliviously watching a football game while you’re walking around dropping subliminal hints about wanting to have hot, nasty sex? In real life if this scenario ever actually happened, it wouldn’t last the 30-second spot needed. This could only make sense to girls.
I guess you all might find the same thing charming about guys, in that we all deep down just want to live like retarded monkeys with no responsibilities, but what makes you so funny is that everybody just seems so conditioned to expect proper behavior from girls. Why don’t you just admit you want all the same things we want, and come out and say that you want to be care-free retarded monkeys too? I guess it wouldn’t be nearly as funny or as cute if you weren’t trying to flash boob while wearing dress shirts from the office at the same time.
Knock it off with the Rene Zellweger movies though, those are just terrible.