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    Categories: US

Heard By a Bird in Phoenicia

 "Teachers retire, and become students."

– Amos Oz

 

 

Did you see the cloud shaped like a cashbox over Big Indian last Friday?

 

 

A Letter 

 

Dear Local Explorer:

 

A recent study at Stanford shows that speaking to your swimming pool keeps it cleaner!  Even as little as one minute of conversation a day cuts down on the need for chemicals and filtration.  The exact mechanism is unclear, but it somehow mimics the effect of human attention on houseplants.

 

So tell your friends: "Talk to your pool!"

 

A. E.

 

Bumper sticker:

 

IN A PAST LIFE, YOU HAD

THIS BUMPER STICKER

 

 

A Second Letter

 

Dear Phoenician:

 

I asked my friend Jami if she takes her Pomeranian to a dog groomer.  "No, I just wait until the knots form, then cut 'em out," she replied.

 

I realized that's what I do with my own head.

 

"Bobby"

 

 

Farmer Fashions

 

"Farmers have fashions, they just change more slowly than other fashions," observes Julie Messter.  "In Manhattan, fashions shift three times a year.  A farmer will buy himself a new hat every 20 years."

 

 

Orange Cherries

 

"Paint" cherries with a mixture of turmeric and water.  Eat with raisins.

 

[This recipe comes from Ted Beller.]

 

 

A Third Letter

 

Dear Sparrow:

 

People weigh less upside down.  If you do a handstand on your bathroom scale, your weight will be 2 or 3 pounds less than when you're standing.

 

V. B.

 

 

Bumper sticker:

 

CAPITALISM

KILLS BEES

 

 

A Fourth Letter

 

Sparrow,

 

My daughter Jessica asked me to prepare for a camp outing.  She wanted "pigs in a blanket," and I wrote that on a shopping list — but somehow it came out "kids in a blanket."

 

Luckily I’m not in Freudian psychoanalysis!

 

"Ms. Forgetful"

 

 

Shandaken Poetry Grab-Bag

 

Aubes anciennes

 

Les aubes

anciennes étaient

plus violettes.

 

– Pierre Lamende

 

 

Ancient Dawns

 

Ancient

dawns were

violeter.

 

 

Words

 

Sometimes

words

 

look like

unwords.

 

– Betty Dobton

 

 

A Fifth Letter

 

Dear Sparrow:

 

I saw my first fireflies last week -- underneath the Virginia creeper to the side of my house.  I've never seen fireflies so low.  What were they doing?  Searching for food?  (And what do fireflies eat?  Larva membranes?)  Or were they just beaming their magic bug-light amid the darkling vines?

 

"Laura"

 

 

Bumper sticker:

 

I MISS THE MOUSEKETEERS

 

 

Hungry For Hammocks

 

"The deer have been eating our hammock," my daughter Sylvia told me two days ago.  I looked out on the deck, and the south side of our hammock did look chewed.

 

I guess the two stags who visit our backyard eat hammocks.

 

 

Crow Language

 

"At times, crows seemed to be shouting: 'Cocaine!  Cocaine!'  Have you ever noticed that?" my neighbor Pete asked.

 

 

Bumper sticker:

 

I FAILED THE DRIVING

TEST 6 TIMES

 

 

Cloud Walk

 

"One of my hobbies is taking cloud walks," Reggie Burnside told me.  "I’ll go on a hike just to look for unusual clouds.  Between 4 and 5 p.m. is usually the best time, here in Bushnellsville.  Sometimes two or three friends will go with me.  We’ll take photos of the best formations, and put them in our Cloud Walk Scrapbook."

 

 

A Sixth Letter

 

Dear Sparrow:

 

Can a nuthatch really hatch nuts?

 

D. B.

 

John:
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