Keeping a relationship long term is not easy. There are a number of people who look and admire individuals who remain married for 40-50 years. Some often wonder how they do that. Do they have any special secret that has become immune to divorce and separation? How can smart couples solve such issues?
The key, once again, is the communication, and specifically communication with emotional intelligence. All couples go through the phases of vicissitudes, arguments, and stages of falling out of love, apathy or insecurity. The important thing is to discuss and solve the problems together. In fact, discussing things and dissent over such things are healthy activities in a relationship, as it gives two people to review their stands and reconcile it with the other. It would be kind of adjustment and readjustment of the daily commitment made once.
There are two ways to deal with conflict in a relationship. One of those may lead to failure for the couple after a while, and the other way will lead to a successful coexistence. The first is that in which two individuals do not find a way to be understood and end up in disagreements. When two do not understand each other and avoid discussions then the result is always disappointing.
However, emotionally intelligent couples learn the ways to take their relationship to the new levels. Of course, there are times when people get irritated, angry and disappointed, but having an ability to find a solution to your problem through communication is the key. With discussions and affection, there is no such topic or issue which cannot be resolved without damaging other communication.
We must understand the problem and not hide it, but there are ways to present and discuss things, which should be taken into account and take the necessary measures to prevent a recurrence. This is how emotionally intelligent couples save their relationships!
Tips for building emotional intelligence between couples
1. Exhibit and hear the problem as soon as it arrives. Do not try to evade or ignore. The problems never go away by themselves but they grow when hidden.
3. make sure that you care about each other. There should be no insults, usage of hurtful words or cheap shots. Hurting your partner is not a victory, but a great loss instead.
4. Listen to your partner. Step into the shoes of the other, and try to see his/her point of view even if it seems absolutely wrong and try to understand why and how it has come to that conclusion.
5. Once the problem have surfaced and exposed, try to reach a fair solution, which is beneficial for both. But yes, see that your intention is not just to please your partner, but come up with a real solution and end the issues prevailing between you two.
6. The problems of the couple are that of the couple. This is a fact and should be written in gold, that is not shared with anyone be it your parents, siblings or best friends. Your problems will not only bother them but also you will not come up with any sort of viable solution at the end.
Couples who can discuss and overcome their problems always go further together, and probably are the individuals who are also successful in other areas involving communication in their lives, like the relationships at work, relatives and friends.
Author Bio: Rashmi Karan is a professional writer who writes for Jeevansathi.com about the relationships and matrimony in India.