This news had hit the headlines here in Australia.Its about a father & his daughter who lived together,had sex & bore 2 children with their union!
John Earnest Deaves,61 & daughter Jennifer Anne,39, had lived together for 7 years after being away from each other for 30 years when John got seperated from Jennifer’s mom.Their relationship started in 2000 & since then Jennifer gave birth to 2 children,one of which died due to a congenital heart disease.They appeared on Channel 9’s "60 Minutes" last night to air their story & to apparently "ask for some respect & understanding".
I was shocked by all of this,specially after knowing that the father allegedly had thought at first that having sex with his daughter was wrong but,in his own words,"Emotions take over, as people no doubt realise. There are times during your life where emotions do rule the heart, it rules the head," &,"I knew it was illegal. Of course, I knew it was illegal but you know, so what."(He even went on to tell the 3rd wife that he had "the best sex with her" when he told her about his affair with his own daughter.Such insensitivity!! And to think that this man already had 3 wives!)
SO what?
So WHAT??
SO WHAT???
Was he out of his mind?
Too many women had suffered under the hands not just of their own parents but with their other relatives as well due to incest.And eventhough some,like in the case of John & Jenny did entered their relationship with open eyes & heart, as GROWN UP ADULTS,little did they thought about the stigma that their own children will suffer from later on(like having Daddy as their Granddad too & how they will bear the fact that Mum was also Daddy’s child?)
And,under moral rules within our society,i dont doubt for even one second that no matter how "great" the sex may be with anyone of every person’s immediate family member,it is still wrong & will not fall under any category of what’s right & proper.Specially if one party involved happened to be a 60-something father who had already been married thrice & had other children from previous relationship that could still be affected by his actions.
Besides,parents are the ones expected to teach their children what’s right & what’s wrong & were even expected to love & support their children all the way(without the thoughts of starting a family of their own with their parents of course).
BUT,in the Deave’s case,what can they teach to their children?
That so long as emotions were involved & they can’t fight it,they had to give it a go,even if it means the emotions involved feelings of strong yet strange love & desire for their own flesh & blood?Then ask the rest of the world to "respect & understand" that emotion coz they just followed what their emotions dictate?
Oh dear,my head is in a spin as i write this article.I don’t want to sound too judgemental or be a holier-than-thou.I’ll also make it clear that as far as respect & understanding for fellow humans are concerned,the Deaves have it from me.Same feeling goes to the heartaches that John’s ex-wives (Jennifer’s mum & his second & third wives) & his other children from his previous marriages are going through at this moment upon finding out about their affair.
But to understand their relationship,the children they both decided to have from their union,their desire to still "help & support each other" even if the law had finally stepped into their incestuous affair, & the unnecessary pain they’re now inflicting on their loved ones,including their own child,that is something that i won’t be able to do no matter how hard i try.It may take me years to see if there’s anything good about it.Or if i can say to myself,’they’re only human."
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