THE ONLY PLEDGE OF A GOOD GIRL – IRON HYMEN
To never let grubby boys touch me – unless it’s just fun innocent
stuff like tripping me and pulling my hair. (But only the hair on my
To never wear trampy stuff like shorts or t-shirts or open-toed
shoes, which basically tell horny perverts that I’m a major tramp
who’s just asking for it.
To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats,
which could break my vagina’s freshness seal and make me totally
To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because
tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.
To never have premarital sex, because Jesus doesn’t want anyone
messing around inside my girly hole until after His church makes
some money off a wedding.
I understand that abstaining from sex protects me from:
Forcing my wonderful parents to use "tough love" and kick me out
of the house for embarrassing them by being such a little whore.
Having adoption-hungry homosexuals circle my pregnant belly like
vultures, hell-bent on corrupting my unwanted bastard child with
their sicko "love."
-DR. NAVRAJ SINGH SANDHU