When it comes to dating after a breakup, you shouldn’t be worried about what your ex-thinks about the situation. It can either be too soon or too long. The fact is they are no longer with you. That means you should date whenever you feel right. However, it is important to know that a strong relationship cannot be established from the person you date a few days after your break up. Dating very soon after is a sign that you are trying to rebound, which is often unhealthy.
Take a Month or More
According to Paulette Kouffman Sherman, a psychologist, and author of Dating From Inside Out, the best way to get over your ex is to find someone else. Sherman says that most people need a month or two for the break up to be processed. This is an adequate time to integrate lessons before you jump back into the dating pool again. However, according to glozine lifestyle recommendations, if you have been in a serious relationship for more than two years, you may require at least three months before dating someone else.
Take a Break
About Sanam Hafeez, a psychologist, taking a break after a breakup is more than licking your wounds. It is a chance to figure out what you have learned and then forge your way forward into the next relationship. Hafeez says the end of relationship teaches us more about ourselves. It gauges your style of communication and how effective it is in handling insecurities and conflicts. She adds that one should think about the lessons you learned from your relationship and break up. You should not just be interested in dating to distract yourself from thinking about your ex.
Why Not Date Soon
There are some people who rush for a fling or one-night stand soon after a breakup. Though not a bad thing, starting straight away can give an impression that you never cared much about your partner. However, being in the company of someone else can help you feel less lonely or less abandoned. The only problem is that whatever relationship you can establish soon after a breakup is subject to fail. If your goal is to get another lifetime partner, it’s probably better off waiting until you are more or less over your previous relationship.
Your State of Mind
Apart from the amount of time you need, the state of your mind can significantly determine how soon you should date again. It is important to ensure that you are not in post-break up the mood. You should get over your past and stop mourning the loss of your treasured relationship. Get to a point where you are back to your hobbies, close friends and every other experience you had when you were in a healthy relationship. This will make you feel in high self-esteem before you move on to the next relationship rather than just trying to fill that hole again, according to Sherman.
Getting Over Your Ex
Most people usually find it almost impossible to get over their past relationships following a breakup. It is quite challenging to get over someone who had taken so much of your life. Dealing with the cause of your emotional pain requires doing things a little bit differently. Positive distractions like working out, reading, hanging with friends, or journaling can be very helpful. Embrace the lessons you learned from your ex and let them go. Appreciate the fact that you bumped into each other to better prepare each for the next relationship.
What to Avoid
Realizing that your relationship has to end is very painful. However, you are not supposed to wallow in self-pity or make people feel sorry for you. Tina B. Tessina, PHD., psychotherapist and author says you should not cherish your hurt feelings, blame yourself, or assign blame to your ex. You should analyze your breakup to avoid repeating the same mistakes in your future relationships. Tessina adds that you shouldn’t be self-destructive or becomes stuck. Rather than isolating yourself, you should have a social life. Try something constructive and useful to avoid becoming obsessed with your ex.
The length of time you should wait to date after a breakup may be different for everyone. It is after knowing how to be alone again you become ready to date someone else. Dating too soon after a breakup may not be a solution to establish a lasting relationship. You should wait until you are in the right state of mind before jumping into a dating pool again. From the lessons you learned from your ex, you are better off and prepared to establish an intimate friendship with your next partner. Analyzing your mistake will put you in a better position to avoid a repeat of the same in the future.