The first time my mother and father discussed how and where to find a girl for me, I released that I was no more a child. They never discussed it with me and always tried to change the topic every time I joined them, but then there were many times I had heard their discussions. My heart would have dancing in pleasure every time I heard them talking about this.
My age was about 18 years those days. Girls were not a new thing for me. A girl of our neighborhood had had sex with me many times when I was just ten years old. She was almost 22. She was a close friend of my mother and mommy had always let me to sleep in their home every time her parents were away.
Her name was Arifa. He parents were laborers and some times they had to go away for one or two nights. Her elder brother was working with a road constructing company at another city and come to home only at the end of the month. The night her parents would be away, they would tell my mother and she sent me to her home.
At their home, there would be Arifa, me and her two young sisters. After her sisters slept, she would give me some coins, promise of more, and get me on her bed. I always did it for the coins she gave me. She was very passionate but I was scary and apathetic.
Another girl one day invited me to have sex with her when we were doing some work in their fields but I refused and fled. She laughed at me later when we met again.
One day, while watching our fields, I saw my uncle masturbating. He told me that he was doing it for a girl whose home was on the other end of the fields. I told him about Arifa and the other girl and told him the whole story.
He was pleased very much. ‘Thanks for telling me. It is not your business. I can better satisfy them.’
One year later, he was caught with a girl in the fields and both got a sentence of 100 lashes, according to Sharia law. The girl was beaten by her father and my uncle got the lashes from my father. This incident frightened me very much. One mid night my father tied my uncle to a pillar at our home and beat him by the lashes in present of all the family members. He was crying. And all the family members cried with him.
But now I was changed. I had developed a strange feeling within me. This feeling was completely different. I felt like a man. I wanted to look and stare at girls, chase them, play with them and do something to them. The feeling was so strong and powerful that I forgot about the sentence and the result of having sex. I was not scary.
I recalled the girl I had had sex with and wished she was there. But she was now married and it was not possible for me to meet women out of my family. Every time my parents would discuss a girl for me, I would dream about her. I had seen many of them when we were children. Some of them were now gorgeous women as my mother would describe them.
But every girl my mother asked for me has a problem. ‘She is not polite’, ‘She is given to some one else’, ‘Her hair is white’ and ‘She does not take purda (veil)’, etc. were the comments of my mother after returning from the girl’s home. In fact, she was an expert of detecting problems in girls, as every mother-in-law should be.
Thus days and months passed and I grew more. And the new feeling within me became stronger. One day I satisfied it with my hands and then it became a routine. I started reading sex books which were not available everywhere. But it was safe to have them with me as I was the only person in the family who could read and write.
Meanwhile I tried to do it with a girl but failed. She was my cousin, older than me and had come from another city. One day she went to the fields with me and there I tried to have some fun. I touched her breast and she became so angry that I had to give up the idea. I could not understand the difference between Arifa and my cousin. Arifa was enjoying it when I play with her breasts. She would always beg for it.
Another year passed and there was not any good news. Now it was not only my parents’ business but our relatives and neighbors also worried about my growing age. They would say to my father, ‘Your boy is getting older. Why don’t you find some girl for him?’ His reply was that they were searching but luck was not helping much.
In our society, it is believed that a boy cannot become a man until he gets married. And every father wants his son to become a man as soon as possible. That is why they start thinking about their wedding immediately after they born. I have seen many weddings of ten years old boys (and six years old girls). But my case was different. I became a man on my 25 th year of age. My wife says that we have wasted more than five years (she was 20 when we married).
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