Relationships as we all know are not easy, they require a lot of work, a lot of patience and a big dose of understanding. To develop a healthy relationship, you need to surpass the many conflicts you will encounter with your partner. Some people get discouraged in the process, some others give up to soon and others just move on to the next person. Whatever direction you might choose, know that many of the conflicts you have experienced with your lover, could have been avoided to start with.
I lot of the mistakes I have made in my romantic life, were made because I didn’t have enough information to know the difference between what was good or bad for me. I also didn’t know what I was supposed to look for in a partner. Finally, I understand, in my own skin, what makes for a great healthy relationship between two people. Usually when we meet someone new, it is very easy to get caught up in the excitment of the moment. We feel as if what we are experiencing is going to always last, so we don’t quite pay attention to the signs around us. These signs are what will determine whether or not you are a good match for each other.
If you want to really discover if your lover is the person to keep for the long run, here are the 3 basic elements you need to look for.
Chemistry is an exchange of DNA that is activated when in the company of someone that happens to have a smell or essence that seems familiar to us. We have zero control over it. This is something, that is given to us by the Universe. The degree of the chemistry we might feel for someone may increase or decrease on the first encounters. It doesn’t really take us that long to figure it out.
Compatibily is when two people live in the same city, so they have time to experience each other in different atmospheres. Being compatible with someone, doesn’t necesarily mean that you need to have the same taste for life as he does. It doesn’t mean that you have to like the same things either, since you both are supposed to be different. Compatibily of character is more about finding something that you both like to do in each other’s company. Let say for instance, that you both like pets, that you both love expending time with animals. Then you know that the love for pets you both have, will be one of the reasons for you to remember when difficulties in the relationship appears. The love for pets that you both have is one reason that keeps you together. If you can find more than one thing that you both share then even better.
Communication is an essential part in relationships in order to keep growing together.
To Communicate effectively with your partner, is a matter of being able to express the things we want or don’t want without seducing them or intimidating them into doing things our way. Communication is about understanding the other side of the coin and at the same time be able to come up to a middle ground. Communication is about being able to sacrifice for the relationship and prioritize things based on what really needs your attention in that precise moment. If you are finding yourself fighting a lot with your partner, you are not communicating with him/her in the correct way.
In a relationship you can easily have a great chemistry and be really compatible with someone but if you haven’t worked out the communication part, your relationship will eventually dissolve. Your relationship won’t be able to deal with the differences between the two of you. A great relationship is a combination of chemistry, compatibility and communication. Chemistry is lust, a body to body connection. Compatibility is when you like the other person, when you like the way they think, the way they are. Communication is love. When there is love between the two of you, you are willing to do your part, you are willing to do your 50% correctly. You are willing to communicate the things you want or don’t want in a healthy way.
If you have chemistry and are compatible you are going to have a lot of fun together.
If you are compatible and have communication you make great friends.
If you have communication and chemistry but are not compatible, you are not going anywhere.
If you are compatible, have chemistry and communication it is a good chance for the relationship to survive in the long run.
So, ask yourself what elements do you really have in your relationship? If you take the chemistry aside, do you still have love, do you still like your honey?
Note: Some of these information is based on the Doctoral of Pat Allen (The American reknown Expert in Relationship and Dating Issues and Mentor).
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