Top killers of marriages
By Emmanuel Udom
God created a man for a woman and the other way round. So, it is natural, acceptable and legitimate for a man to leave his parents and clinched to a woman and they shall become one body, as the Bible says. But, there is a nag here. When, two people from various background, culture, education, social status, etc come together, there is bound to be the initial tumult, test and trial before, they could eventually blend together
Without deviating further, let me outline some of the top killers of marriages all over the world. The list may not be total, so dear readers; you could also mention some of the other killers that are peculiar to you and your environment, culture or country.
Love makes the world go round. It is soothing, calming, and healing to the body and the soul. What attracts a man to woman is love. True and lasting love will grow and blossom with time. But, it has to pass through the necessary test, trial and tribulation. Lack of love between a man and woman could lead to all sorts of marital challenges- quarrels, misunderstanding, domestic violence, fight or even death
No relationship or marriage can survive without sex. Good sex begins from the mind and end up healing the body and bringing about intimacy. It actually begins with foreplay, before the real act. So, lack of sex will certainly kill your relationship or marriage faster than expected. In Africa, Nigeria, our culture allows a man to be seen as alpha and omega by the woman and the society. Some African men look at women as sex toys that should be used and dump. This attitude is not good for relationship or marriage.
There is no problem or challenge that cannot be solved through dialogue. Therefore, if you want to be a success in the things of the heart, so to say, you have got to talk, talk and talk with your partner. Otherwise, the relationship or marriage will hit the rocks. Communications actually solve all problems, you know. Try is out with your partner from today.
Money, especially in developing and poverty ravaged country is the root of problems in marriages. That is, you how you generate your income and how you spend the money, will determine whether or not your marriage will be successful. So, before getting into a relationship, take a pause, ask yourself a critical question: Am I an asset or liability? That is, are you generating income for yourself, even as a man or woman? Answers to these questions will give you an idea to either work or go into business in order to contribute financially to the family purse.
Respect is a 2-way think. You give respect to others and expect same in return. This is the beginning of success either in marriage or any other area of life. Respect your spouse-his opinion, views, comment, lifestyle etc and it could be returned back to you. It is a natural law of nature and therefore universal, regardless of your country, tribe, culture, sex or status.
When you say compatibility, the words that come to my mind are: harmony, blending, love, etc. You read about zodiac signs that say for instance that a Gemini person is compatible with Libra and so on. Fantastic, but, it takes maturity on the part of the man and the woman to show comparability, even on the face of strive, quarrels and marital issues to settle. Incompatibility is one of the many killers of marriage.