Now that Lindsay Lohan has put her legal troubles behind her, Mom Dina is once again getting media attention touting to whoever will put her in front of a camera about how proud she is of her daughter. In a conversation with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush Dina remarked that unlike many people, Director Woody Allen has Lindsay’s back. What I don’t see is where Dina has Lindsay’s back in terms of Lindsay’s best interests according to Lindsay.
Dina Lohan is famous for being Lindsay Lohan’s Mom. She starred in a reality show, Living Lohan, to capitalize on her daughter’s fame and personal struggles in order to further launch her own career in the spotlight. While its true, as Dina claim’s, Lindsay is responsible for her own choices, Dina is also responsible for her own parenting.
Given that the treatment team at Betty Ford strongly advised Lindsay that she terminate her Mom’s role as her business manager suggests that Lindsay’s Mom traded in her role as a supportive Mom for a higher profile role of a celebrity manager. While some people blame fame for the ruination of so many young careers, fame alone isn’t the culprit. While it does add pressure to the life of a child actor, there are quite a few such as Ron Howard, Dakota Fanning and Seth Green who manage to stay balanced and go on to lead very successful careers.
How? They’ve been supported to stay grounded in the truth of who they are beyond fleeting fame. Parental and adult influencers have taught them the following lessons:
1. Values
Teach your children values. The way to impart values isn’t through lecturing – its through modeling the values you wish to instill within your child. Children learn by your behavior much more than your barking orders. Are your children seeing what well-grounded confidence looks like? Do they watch you manage stress and control impulses successfully? Do they get to watch you persevere in overcoming obstacles? Do they witness your empathy for others? Do you set an example of initiative and responsibility? Do you model a healthy relationship with money?
2. Autonomy
Invest time and energy in discovering who your children are instead of who you’d like them to be. Shape-shifting to become a model of an idealistic expectation puts an enormous amount of pressure upon a child that leaves them feeling empty and disconnected. Allow your child to reasonably make his or her own decisions. Childhood is a time of exploration and a safe environment within which to make mistakes. Mistakes are, after all, the portals of discovery, learning and growth. Do not confuse protecting your children for a veiled attempt to controlling them. People of all ages reach for misguided and unhealthy coping mechanisms to numb the inner pain of an unexpressed soul.
3. Connectivity
The paradox of fame is that it can be an isolating existence. Many high-profile people feel trapped within the gilded cage of fame. The pressure to measure up to unrealistic expectations in an unrealistic environment is difficult for seasoned let alone young adults. Enrich your child’s life with an opportunity to be a child – as other children are allowed – playing and having fun. Give them the opportunity to learn social skills through natural engagement with other children who live lives out of a camera focus. Often a child star is constantly surrounded by well-meaning adults. Yet there is no substitute for the experience children gain from interacting with peers.
There are many child and teenage stars who lead healthy and productive lives today. Many of these same celebrities have mixed feelings about the childhood they lived under the public eye. At a time when a child is thrust into business and competitive situations in which their young age has left them ill prepared its far better to have a grounded parent by your side rather than a fame crazed stage Mom (or Dad) on your back.