How do you see money and sex in a relationship?
By Emmanuel Udom
How do you see money and sex in a relationship? This is a big question that billions of persons around the globe see from various angles.
To some persons, sex is inescapable in any relationship. Meaning, without sufficient sex, any relationship between a husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend will certainly crash sooner than later.
In the last couple of weeks, under a disguised platform, I sent this question to 500 of my friends across the globe, via email. Some of my friends see sex as a tonic for a more intimacy in a relationship.
They think that without regular and sufficient sex, intimacy, as the foundation for a more solid and long lasting relationship cannot exist. Yes, they may be right to a level.
But, how do you explain a situation where a man or woman enjoys having sex regularly and yet, there is still friction in their relationship? Who or what do we blame here?
I am not Mr Know-all. But, as a married man, I will tell you from practical experience that sex is more spiritual than physical.
Some people think that beauty, handsomeness, wealth, money, social status, educational attainments, money, heights and color are some of the determining factors for a successful relationship.
These worldly, transient parameters are good. They only contribute to success in marriage or relationship to a certain level.
The truth is that there are millions of powerful, famous and wealthy persons out there, who have failed woefully as far as marriage is concerned. I am very sure; you know some of them at your finger tip.
Yes, sex brings intimacy and is actually good for our physical and emotional wellbeing. But, like your best food, sex is an appetite. It goes through what some economists call law of diminishing returns.
That is, the more sexually intimate you are with your lover, the more you are likely going to detest him or her, no matter how sexually active the person is.
If there is no true love and friendship between lovers, their relationship may not last, even if they have sex with each other 24/7.
Love is like a seed planted in the soil. It requires some elements of time, changing situations and conditions and an abiding faith and trust in each other to be nurtured to greatness.
The appetite of sex will die down over time for these timeless values to come to the fore. No matter what you hear or read about the ABC of successful relationship, your character plays a crucial role in this.
Some of us pretend, especially when we are in love to be angels, when deep down we know we are devils incarnate. Be true to your yourself and your intending lover from the word, go. It is left to the person to either accept or reject you at that level or stage.
Money is good. Infact, there is nothing we can do without money. But, some ladies and men look at each other from monetary angle before saying yes or no to their proposal for either a relationship or marriage.
In some developed and developing countries, marriage or friendship has now become a cash-and-carry affair, where intending lovers want to be doubly sure of the financial status of each other.
Money cannot buy you true and long lasting peace, harmony and happiness, though it could facilitate it. Reflect in this please. So, before you say yes or no to the request of your lover, see beyond his or her conditions today.
Look beyond the beautiful or handsome face, the loaded bank account, social status, well dressed personality, sex appeal look and the ever smiling face etc to discover the true personality you are dating, married to or about to date.